There are a lot of female bloggers & vloggers out there talking about what a crappy experience online dating is for women, and while I do agree it’s a minefield, it’s time we address perils awaiting all the chaps out there.
Men, if you spot any of these girls on your dating site of choice…run. Ladies, if you happen to be watching, welcome to the other side of the online dating world.
#1 – The Husband Hunter: to observe the husband hunter in her natural habitat is to bear witness to a need for domestication on at its most extreme.
The Husband Hunter will put security and predictability far ahead of things like love, laughter and social compatibility, or what the ancient sages would refer to as the cornerstones of a relationship that has a chance of lasting.
My personal experience with one husband hunter saw her recommending a first date take place over dinner…at her parent’s house.
On a scale 1 to 1o no the crazy scale, that one’s 212…as in the temperature required to boil bunnies.
#2 – The Man Hater Who…Needs A Man – This one’s special. She hates you and all other chaps out there. But she also hates herself because she wants what you’ve got. What a pickle. You’ll recognize the man hater right away when she starts talking about what a piece of shit her last boyfriend was…
…and the same for the guy she dated before that and the guy before him until you get the impression like she’s had bad luck her whole life and never met a chap who is NOT a piece of shit.
To engage the man-hater is to risk having your nether regions recoil inward turn and your masculinity assailed on a regular basis.
#3 – The Nurse Rached – ever read One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest or watched the movie? Then you’re familiar with how callous the fair sex can be. Unlike the Man-Hater, the Nurse Ratched doesn’t hate men, because she doesn’t understand them. Or women.
Who the hell knows how she got to being so socially detached and unable to relate to others, but you’ll know her when you ask her how her day is going and she responds by accusing you of playing games for asking such a question.
#4 – The Disney Princess – we’ll admit it, she’s hot…but like the old saying goes, “doesn’t matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit.” Truer words were never spoken.
Sometimes the Disney Princess got to being the way she is not just because of her looks, but also because her parents actually convinced them she was akin to royalty with an incessant barrage of compliments.
You’ll recognize the princess once you check out her profile and it reads like a job application.
…a job only George Clooney or Henry Cavill can fill.
As a confident chap, you might be tempted to try and see what could happen, but be warned, despite her pleasant exterior the Disney Princess’ soul is a scorched, barren field governed by the cold winds of entitlement and self-indulgence.
#5 – The Lifer – More common than you may think, some women have given themselves over to online dating for good. Is it an addiction? Maybe. A hobby? I guess so.
Some tell-tale signs you’ve encountered an online dating lifer include: She’ll instruct you on how many pictures to put on your profile or to list what pastimes you enjoy, like she was appointed hall monitor. You’ll also find her on EVERY single dating site.
Now, think about that for a moment. Nothing wrong with dipping your toes in a couple of streams…but just think of how many popular dating sites there are, and how each one has thousands of guys registered…how much of a spiritually-broken emotional burn victim must you be to not find even ONE guy in all that variety?
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