How to Blow a Job interview

How to Blow a Job interview

talk too much job interview

Might this just be the one we call the “self help” edition?

After all, first there’s there are the hacks on how to get a new job, should that happen to be one of your new year’s resolutions.

And then there’s the extensive guide on how to get your money back from three different cryptocurrency exchanges…

…just in case you decided to jump on that train and now find yourself unable to move your money and equally unable to get help from a phantom customer support department.

 

Employment Getting, George Costanza Style

 

Yeah, we get it. George is a bit of a schlub in the long game (He blew his shot with Marisa Tomei).

George did however, have a gift for acing job interviews. His strategy was rather simple too:

  • He would only speak when spoken to
  • He would keep his answers brief
  • If the answer was too brief, he’d simply wait for the interviewer to ask for more info

Ask any successful salesperson and they will tell you that not knowing when to stop gabbing is almost a guarantee you’ll blow the sale.

Signs to watch for:

All humans have tells they cannot control and when going in for that fateful meeting there are giveaways that will guide you:

  • Eye-rolling – this happens subconsciously all the time. It’s your cue to end your sentence immediately.

 

  • Sudden change in expression on the interviewer’s face – if you’re making a face that expresses negative feelings, the person facing you might subconsciously ape you out of empathy to make you feel more comfortable.You see this, fix your face fast.

Interviews can be stressful, depending on how bad you want the job, so be sure, when you get the signal that the interview is about to end to have your right palm resting on your knee so you can give it a drying rub before the parting handshake.

 

Cover What?

So you do in fact want a better job for the new year, but the idea of scribbling out 500 words of bullshit that make up the average cover letter?

Thankfully for you, most hiring managers don’t want to read your bullshit anyways.

We’re about to reveal some truth bombs in this section about what’s really going on with the job market.

Why are you still writing cover letters?

Rachel Bitte, a veteran of the recruiting scene with over two decades in the industry (and now CEO of JobVite) says cover letters are a waste of time.

These days, if you see a company requesting a cover letter, there’s one of two things going on (or both):

1) The HR recruiter can’t think outside the box and keeps on doing what school taught her to do or…

 

2) The company isn’t asking you to write about yourself to get to know you. They just want to see if you’ll do what they ask.

Another huge reason cover letters are a total waste of time: some companies use software that pre-screens your cover letter for keywords or for a Flesch readability score and will auto-delete your hard work long before it gets read by human eyes.

Human Eyes Aren’t Much Better

Most HRs have zero clue what the position they’re seeking candidates for is actually about.

They get a general guideline from the department’s director then craft a job ad according to what a 75 year old professor who never worked outside of academia taught them to write.

Many a cover letter has been filed into the great cylindrical file because a 24-year-old HR rep decided it wasn’t flow-y enough.

OK, now that we’ve got the biggest time-suck of job hunting out of the way…

 

Glory To He Who Blanket-Bombs LinkedIn

You’ll never believe just how many job seeking dudes are not aware of the two simple little features LinkedIn offers that make applying without a cover letter (blanket bombing) possible.

Once you get into the job section, toggle these two options:

linkedin-easy-apply
Choose the date range that works for your situation and then go to LinkedIn Features and select “Easy Apply”.

All you’ll get are opportunities that can be applied for with one click.

Tips to remember when dropping them bombs:

  • LinkedIn provides employers with a time gauge – what that means is, employers can see how long you were on the job post before applying. If you applied within 10 seconds, it’s pretty clear you spent no time reading through, so keep the tab open for two to three minutes.

 

  • With each application you make, there’s a pre-checked box asking you to follow the company you’re applying to. Be sure to uncheck it or other potential employers will be able to check your LinkedIn feed and see that you’re blanket-bombing.

Be sure to hit ALL other job sites this way.

 

Crypto Growing Pains (A Quick Fix Guide)

So your buddy Mike, finally succeeded in getting you to try your hand at cryptocurrency investing.

He painted a vivid portrait of how promising all those altcoins are and how they put early retirement within reach.

So you sank $500 to $1K just to see what happens…and you suddenly realize that while crypto investing is indeed a bag of chips and a can of soda, it’s infrastructure is not.

Welcome to the new frontier!

Perhaps Mike managed to sell you on crypto because it was a way to ‘stick it to the man’ and keep intrusive governments away from your cash.

Yeah, that part is pretty cool, except for when you consider the trade-off of ‘the man’s’ implication in the equation.

Regular online trading platforms connecting the public with the stock market or Forex have infrastructures in place to handle large volumes of customer support as well as real-time trading.

The average crypto trading platforms…not so much.

Coinbase, one of the largest, most recognized trading platforms can’t handle the explosive interest that crypto trading (even with heavy financial backing) has garnered over the past few months.

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Customer Support!

Why is customer support and software functionality such a widespread issue among all crypto trading platforms?

It’s a mentality thing, really.

Most platforms were launched by programmers…who aren’t really strong believers in customer support/general human contact and believe they should be left alone so they can work on code unencumbered.

“OK, so they don’t give a damn – can I take care of this myself?”

Yes – use this guide to find out how to use multiple platforms to get your money back.

“Fortune always favors the brave, and never helps a man who does not help himself.”

 – P. T. Barnum